Parting Gifts
The idea for Parting Gifts was born out of receiving my own tombstone as a gift! It led me to imagine how a young newlywed would react if confronted with his mortality, especially if a femme fatale entered the picture with promises to put some “flash in the dash” of his unfinished life!
The result is a full-length play that challenges the audience to consider if it is our journeys or reaching our destinations that make life meaningful…and do shortcuts help, or steal from the experience?
The play requires five on-stage performers (two male, three female). Extras are not required but could enhance Act 2, Scene 3. The subject matter is mature but appropriate for all ages.
Excerpt from Parting Gifts: Act 1, Scene 1
(Interrupting, Howie leans over to look closer to the tombstones, pointing at them, back and forth, speaking with exasperation.)
HOWIE
But that’s my name! And that’s my birthday! And that’s you! And that’s your birthday! And that’s me! (pause, turning to Elle) Elle, what am I doing here?
What the heck is going on!?
ELLE
You see, honey, it’s quite simple. And it’s kind of sweet when you think about it. When we started dating, well, you know how fast it all went. Mother was already in Hospice and even though you two didn’t really get to know each other, she did get to listen to me telling her how awesome you were and how I thought you were, The One! Well, she must have really taken it to heart because she had her attorney make all the necessary arrangements…to add you to the family cemetery!
HOWIE
The family cemetery? When she died, I wasn’t even in the family!
ELLE
She had such high expectations for you.
HOWIE
Well, it looks like she expected me to be about two feet tall! How would I even fit in such a small space?
ELLE
Each plot can accommodate either one coffin, or three urns if you’re cremated, or one coffin and two urns if the coffin goes first. Like I said, it’s quite simple, really!
HOWIE
So, the expectation is that not only am I going to be buried here…
ELLE
(Interrupting) Interred.
HOWIE
Interred?
ELLE
Yes, you bury a coffin, but you inter cremated remains.
HOWIE
Oh, excuse me. So, I’m expected to be interred here, a place that I didn’t know existed six months ago, and sit at the foot of a woman that didn’t even like me?
ELLE
But she would have loved you…so hard!
HOWIE
I can feel it from here.
ELLE
Sweetie, I know it’s a lot.
HOWIE
Well, it’s a shock seeing one’s own tombstone!
ELLE
You get used to it.
HOWIE
Used to it? Have you seen yours before?
ELLE
My mother gave this one to me for my ninth birthday.
HOWIE
How have you avoided therapy?